cybill gives elvis a little heads up

MOTLEY NEWS IS A WEBSITE that features “current news, stories of interest, humor, and photography—a motley of what’s in the news today!” And on May 24, 2012, they ran a feature titled “Wikipedia’s Lamest Edit Wars.” The article was uncredited, but as all of the answers given to comments were by ‘Michelle at Motley News,’ I am going to give Michelle the byline credit here.

“I found [a] Wikipedia page to be very humorous, and many items debated really had some valid points. Basically, these are issues which been debated over and over again on what would be correct for that Wiki page. For example, the spelling for the chemical element sulfur: is it sulfur or sulphur? I checked, and they both come up, but sulphur points to sulfur so apparently the ‘f’ spelling won out, but both spellings are recognized in the page.”

Michelle then lists several other questions that occupy at least some wiki-editors’ thoughts:

Huh? Elvis Presley got his first blowjob sixteen years after his first million-seller! Are you kidding me?!!?

•  Is it appropriate to include huge pictures of a tarantula on a page about arachnophobia?
•  Is J.K. Rowling’s last name pronounced “rolling” or does it rhyme with “howling”?
•  Is it relevant that Bono plays the harmonica?
•  Is it okay to mention the lack of Asian diversity on the House, M.D. television show?

Other burning topics include cow-tipping, some silly Star Wars stuff—and isn’t all of it silly anymore?—and at what age are pre-teens ‘pre-teens’?


Cybill gives Elvis a little heads up

I have had more than a few jaw-dropping experiences when consulting Wikipedia, although most of them were more than a few years ago. But I did contribute this comment to Michele’s article:

“A few years ago I looked up the Wiki bio page for Elvis Presley and found an unbelievable entry: actress Cybill Shepherd claims that she introduced Elvis to the joys of oral sex in 1972. What? Read that again: Elvis Presley got his first blowjob sixteen years after his first million-seller! I thought, ‘All of those women all of those years and not a taste?’ Are you kidding me? 


Did this gorgeous young woman divulge the wisdom of the ages to Elvis?

Does that mean that Ann-Margret was not, a gasp, a . . . you know? What’s a good euphemism? A flautist? And what about Priscilla? Or Grommett only knows how many others along the way? Then I stopped ruminating on all of the beautiful women who literally threw themselves at the ol’ Pelvis, each ready willing able to do anything—anything!!!!—for the king and each and everyone withholding her head-giving skills from him.

I stopped thinking that each and everyone blew it by not blowing it and thought, Why is this piece of drivel on this page?

Why is someone making me read this?

Why is a too forthright Ms. Shepherd (for whom I would crawl over a beach full of broken clam shells to be introduced to the joys of oral sex with) being made to look like a fool?


Was this gorgeous young woman clueless the whole time she was with Elvis?

Who at Wikipedia made the decision to include this? Was this allowed in to make a point? Did someone there have a dry or sophomoric or mordant sense of humor? Or was the point being that the Wiki team is incapable of exercising editorial control?


And where oh where was this gorgeous young woman during all of this brouhaha?

Ho hum. All that aside, Wikipedia is an interesting site, valuable, and a good source to launch any research on the net by providing a general—and generally accurate—background on thousands of subjects. (But, every now and then, when I least expect, a wee thought pops into me wee head: ‘Did anyone ever get around to introducing Ann-Margret to the joys of oral sex?’)”

Yes I know that Ms. Shepherd may have been referring to Elvis being on the giving end instead of receiving, but that wouldn’t have been as fun to write about. I would then have to call into question the needs and desires of the women in question for wanting/demanding some good lovin’ from E and that was not something that I was about to do. Besides, it was so easy to mistake her words for a good ol’ bee jay in the Wiki article.


Postscriptually, if it matters, the Cybill-Elvis affair was edited out of the Elvis bio a long time ago. I may have had something to do with that, but I really don’t remember . . .


2 Replies to “cybill gives elvis a little heads up”

    1. JJ

      You just getting around to reading about one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood these past few decades?


      PS: As you know, Wikipedia has taken a downturn in regards to records and music since I wrote this piece . . .

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